#imagine spending all your time in college getting a degree then working at a 9-5 to come back after the long day

[kwamiwayzz]

I saw someone on Twitter post that one of the many things they love about Jeckole is that Nicole went to her new school with the intentions of basically not getting attached to anyone, then immediately after meeting Jecka, she wanted to know her and cared enough to actually wanna reach out to her

[campymoon]

Extreme TW: self unaliving thoughts, depression, BPD, just scroll. It’s a vent post

If I can post on here about wanting to be raped and yall either like or scroll I should be able to post about this too.

I think I’m going to give it another week honestly.

I told myself if like didn’t get better by my 22nd bday I’d end it but now my 24th is like a month away and… yeah. I have an amazing and wonderful partner and I promised not to because I believe in the afterlife and want us to be together forever but I believe he deserves to spend eternity with someone normal. Someone easy to love and someone who’s as pure and perfect as he is.

My family is… dysfunctional and doesn’t care about all the things I’ve done for them, sacrificed for them nor do they even listen when I speak most times unless I yell.

Multiple friends have left me and I’ve been abandoned too many times. And I wouldn’t survive if my partner one day betrayed me or left me. Sorry I love him with everything but have also been waiting to be with fully since 2019…I feel like I have to beg just to discuss our future and when we do I feel like a fucking moron because he brings up a million different points that I “don’t consider”.

And I’m painting him really harshly I’m splitting on him rn (BPD) he’s very sweet and patient and loving but I’m so alone and tired of being alone and having to struggle alone while he just gets to do whatever he wants (overdramatized but it feels that way when I’m upset).

And I’m just so so SO TIRED of being told I have to push back my passions, happiness and goals just because that’s “how it is” and I need to “sacrifice” fucking everything that brings me joy or peace. When I was a child I was SA’d. I was like 5, then again at age 9 by my stepbrother till I was like 16 but my parents didn’t believe me and made me eat alone in my room for weeks. I wasn’t allowed to go to friends houses, parties or have a bf until I was 18, no job till 19 then coerced into the military into a career I hated to be bullied and abused more by strangers. Blah blah blah sad back story bs.

I could tell any person close to me in my life that I was actively being abused and all they’d do is say “aweee I’m sorry” (I’ve literally told the closest people i know that I’m being sexually harassed and they just give me a sad face. I’ve seen people buck up faster to STOP ME from retaliating to violence or aggression more than anyone has actually protected me from any abuser).

I tried sex work but uhhhh duh. I was an obvious flop (which isn’t like a “pity me” statement it’s just the truth).

And even though I loved it without making any real money from it and without the motivation I stopped.

I’m just tired. Tired of never being put absolutely number one by anyone. I wanna be loved like how I love. Unconditionally, irrationally and with compassion and empathy. I wanna have my tears move you like yours move mine. I wanna have my laughter bring out yours. I want it all. I crave it. This isn’t about just romance either I wanna form this is about all types of love. I wanna feel it like how I give it. And I NEVER FUCKING DO!

Then my issues get accidentally used against me. And it absolutely broke my heart. Imagine not going to your dream state for your dream school for someone and that someone says that you not having a figured out career or college degree causes hesitancy in moving in with/marrying you? Ofc I wanna fucking kill myself! I don’t wanna be here NOTHING I DO IS EVER ENOUGH NOR WILL IT EVER BE ENOUGH!!! I’ve been told so many times “You are enough. You deserve to be loved.” By the SAME PEOPLE WHO LEAVE ME! Who tell me I’m too much!!! Who say they can’t handle me!?

I’m told I can’t not speak when I’m angry. Then when I speak when I’m angry I’m “being rude”/“not thinking about my words”/“mean” but when I try to slowly think out my words and explain things EXACTLY as I mean them with indicators that I don’t mean offense nor that I’m angry with anyone IM STILL IN THE WRONG?!

I just wanted to be an artist in Colorado.

And now im just gonna be another dead loser nobody will remember in a few years.

[celinetsengg]

Week 5 Reflection: "5-Year Odyssey"

Where do I see myself in 10 years? 

Personally, this is a difficult question because I genuinely have no idea what I want to do with my professional career. I hope in ten years, I am at a job that I genuinely am passionate about. Currently, I think I am on the pre-med track, so I guess in 10 years I’ll be some sort of doctor?? I don’t think that I have to enjoy every single second of it, but if I can find purpose in what I am doing and feel fulfilled then the ups and downs should be worth it. I don’t necessarily want to be stuck in a rut of working in a 9-5 at a small cubicle, and I wish to be able to make a tangible difference to communities that especially need it. I think hearing and/or being exposed to all sorts of people is what creates fulfillment in my life, as I love learning about other people and their life stories. Furthermore, I hope I can surround myself with colleagues that I admire and that inspire me to continue my aspirations, as I often find the greatest motivation through my community. I also hope to be financially stable from my career, and on the way to become financially stable enough to support both myself and a family. 

Tangentially, I guess I could also end up pursuing a path not exactly in medical school, but somewhere along the lines of biotechnology. After taking a biotech class, the intricacies of pharmaceutical companies are quite interesting to me. Perhaps I would combine this with some sort of business aspect, as my parents have always encouraged me to take business classes and pursue that industry if I really wanted to. This path is a lot more open-ended, and is really up to me to figure out where/what I wish to do, which is why I feel that I stray away from this for the fear of the unknown. I definitely would be able to have more of a work-life balance in this case, though.

If I had unlimited resources and time, I definitely would choose to become an artist, or at least go to art school. In another life, I would go to art school, perhaps in New York City, and be a burnt out art student and just live in the studio all day. Back in  high school when I was applying to colleges, I was so sure I did not want to apply to art schools, or even apply to the Brown x RISD dual degree program, but now sometimes I imagine what it would be like to be able to take art classes at college (since UCLA’s are not open to non-majors). I truly miss sitting in the studio for hours at a time, putting my music on aux and simply painting based on my intuition. Now, I feel stunted and that I have been ignoring my passion for the arts. Art school has always been so intriguing to me, as I feel like you truly are tested to your creative limits but also are forced to produce so much artwork. For me, having that structure is what helps me stay motivated, and the variety of art classes, from printmaking to oil painting to figure drawing, would be so cool to experience as a full time art student. I also think being surrounded with all sorts of creatives would be so fulfilling in so many ways as well, as I feel that you really learn a different side of people from their artwork. In this alternate universe, I wouldn’t have to memorize the structures of the cells or the patterns of oscillations in bodily processes, and I could explore NYC at night with my art school friends. To be honest, I don’t know if I could ever survive that lifestyle, constantly cranking out artworks and spending so much time on these all-consuming pieces, but it seems like a unique challenge that I unfortunately will never get to experience. 

I think in all of these paths, I find a balance between my inward happiness and also outward fulfillment from the things I am doing. I truly value finding a balance in everything I do, and so regardless of what my future holds for me, I hope I can continue to balance my family, social life, career, and personal time. I know for a fact that in either of the two first paths, I care deeply about my financial stability, which is something my parents have always raised me to do. This is why I would never be able to go to art school, or become an artist, but I hope in the future when I have more stability in my life, I am able to pick up this hobby again and find fulfillment in that.

[metaphor-cheese]

so...i think i figured out why baljeet is the way he is

alright i’ve talked about why i think this in the past but to get us started im working from that idea that baljeet has some form of anxiety disorder specifically centralised around school. he believes grades determine his self worth and his future to such a degree that an F in something as inconsequential as rock music will tear his entire life apart. in-universe i believe these traits to be the basis of what caused him to become so obsessed with school BUT there isnt a very clear why. He says things that imply its parental pressure but 1: we dont have a whole lot of details or evidence for that and it doesnt seem to fit what little we see of his parents and 2: i just dont rlly like that idea sdgsdhr. the last thing i need to establish before i get into this is that for im working from the assumption that (like every other character in the show) baljeet is autistic. ok? we on the same page? ok.

the most important thing we know about baljeets past is that he wasn’t born in danville. he was born in india and only moved to america somewhere between 4 years ago and the summer the show takes place. this would put him at roughly 5 at the youngest during the move. thats...a pretty young age for an international move, right? people with autism are already predisposed to relying on routine so having your entire life uprooted would be pretty scary. and this big event combined with either his autism or just a regular predisposition to ocd behaviours could have conceivably pushed him into trying to find any degree of control in his life. which, as a child, you dont have many options for aside from school performance

to back up the idea that the move to america was a traumatic one for him lets have a look at what we know about baljeet prior to the show. 

in india he:

-had a best friend named mishti

-played football either casually or as an extracurricular

-saw his extended family enough for them to at least recognise him

in america he:

-was bullied heavily by buford

-was generally considered uncool and a nerd

-probably knew phineas and ferb from school but didnt appear to be their friend

...yeah thats a pretty big change in tone. while its entirely possible his pursuit of schooling was what caused his bullying, kids dont need much motivation to bully someone so its entirely possible his nerdiness only encouraged said mistreatment once it had already started. either way there’s a clear distinction between these two phases of his life where young baljeet in india seems much happier and relaxed while baljeet in america is heavily mistreated and seems to have little to no support system like he used to. the sheer fact alone that the one actual clip we see of him in india is framed as very positive tells us all we need to know but i think theres one other important thing to note for this theory:

in the flashback with mishti, baljeet is playing football. whats so important about that, you may be asking? you yourself have pointed out that baljeet likes playing sports. well...all the times we see it in the show seem to be prompted and his expressed interest in them in conversations is usually how they relate to things like math and angles. and we know from raging bully and the baljeatles that baljeet usually spends his free time studying and little else. i cant really imagine the baljeet who got confused why phineas and ferb werent studying in the early summer holidays going out for a casual game of football, no matter how much he enjoyed it. early show baljeet doesnt even seem to understand why someone would do something purely for fun at all. so to show that just 4 years ago he wasnt like this implies something big happened that made him block out the world around him

even if we go with the idea that his parents are to blame for this mindset, i dont think that could explain his behaviour entirely. baljeets like what? 9? 12 at the absolute oldest. he’s not being pressured to go to college seminars, lets be real. whatever is going on here seems to be rooted in his own anxieties and world view, which is the idea leant into much more later in the show (eg. primal perry) and so the one i favour. either way though, the point is: something happened to baljeet

[ratatatlas]

Just responding to your question about college! 1. If you can, take a gap year. There's no shame in taking extra time to figure out what you want to do. 2. If you can't take a gap year, then spend the first year taking some classes that will be required of you regardless of your major (math, English, history, science, etc). 3. Get accommodations (I HIGHLY suggest "staggered deadlines"), so assignments can't stack up on you all of a sudden. Any accommodation that you've used before, use in college. 4. When you sign up for classes, try to spread them throughout the week so you have a consistent schedule. Having at least a class a day will keep up a good schedule, so there's somewhat of a daily pattern to follow. 5. Only pick a major for something that you can envision yourself doing. If you can't imagine yourself doing it, if you don't know the specifics of what it entails, don't do it. For example, imagine being an engineer. Is that an at-home job? office job? 9-5? What exactly does an engineer do throughout the day? Of course, you'll have to do some research to figure out what a typical work day looks like. 6. Last but not least, LOOK AT ALTERNATIVE CAREERS. If you go for a degree in teaching, there are so many other things you can do with that degree rather than the typical 8-3 teaching career managing 5 different groups of students in one day. You can substitute teach, tutor, work at a tutoring company, work as a teaching assistant, etc etc. This goes for so many other careers, too. A degree is very flexible.

Hope that helps a bit!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

I've always kind of planned on taking a gap year if I can, and the rest of the advice is very helpful as well, much appreciated :)

[sibunaranks]

Reasons I believe Peddie live in the UK when they’re married.

So lots of people debate where they live. I’m a no-budge headcanon Uk and here are my reasons why. 

1.) Eddie has citizenship in the Uk, Patricia doesn’t. 

So the fact Eddie’s dad has always been a legal resident of the UK he automatically as his son get’s citizenship. Basically he has dual citizenship from birth due to this. Patricia on the other hand only has citizenship in the UK. It’s the only country they both can legally stay in with no issues or fuss.

2.) Immigrating is hard and a ton of work.

Patricia would most likely be going for a K-1 or Spousal Visa if she were to try and come to the US. These can be very complicated and hard. They can also have a ton of hurdles. Not only this but they would need capital to move. They’re young, they aren’t rich. Patricia would need to move ALL of her things to a new country and Eddie already has everything important in the UK so it would be a hassle to a degree for him to/not a hassle to stay in the UK. 

3.) Patricia wouldn’t be able to work for five months or more. 

Spouses have to apply for a work permit. This can take up to seven months. Now these guys are young. They don’t have a lot of money, so one of them not working after already spending tons of money just to move seems impossible. Also if Eddie doesn’t have a job already lined up before moving BOTH of them aren’t working for at least some point which is not good or realistic. 

4.) They aren’t rich.

Yes I believe both of their families are “Well off” finically but individually? Straight out of college they are not rich. It costs money to immigrate even in your own country let alone to a new one. It could be considered fiscally irresponsible to move to the US after getting married or before. 

5.) Patricia is anti-American, Eddie isn’t anti-UK

I cannot imagine this girl wanting to live in America. She always hates the Americans when they come to the house. She seems to just have something against it and whether it’s a front or not I don’t see her being like “Oh yay let’s live there.” Meanwhile Eddie has adjusted to the UK and seems to enjoy his life there.

6.) Family. 

All of Patricia’s family is in the UK. She’d have nobody in the states. She’d be an ocean apart from her parents and her twin sister. Eddie has half of his family in the UK (assuming he has no siblings which the show leads us to believe). No matter where he lives he has the same amount of family where Patricia has all or nothing. He’s also had less time in his life with his dad and his mom could visit easier than Eric could due to his job as headmaster and easier than Patricia’s family due to the fact it’s not just one person it’s three or two at a time unless just Piper came. 

7.) Friends.

All of Patricia’s friends are in the UK. All of Eddie’s good friends are in the UK. He has friends in the states sure but is he as close to them as someone such as his Sibuna members? no. I don’t believe so. Patricia would have zero friends in America except for Nina, KT and MAYBE Amber if she stayed but who knows where in the country they’d be? Probably not close like her friends in the UK would be. They’re a friend group so close they’re practically family. It’d be super hard for both of them to just leave them. 

8.) Fresh out of college

I know it’s not canon that they both attend college in the UK but it’s also a huge headcanon of mine and most people secure starter jobs before even graduating. If they went into a job they want right away leaving the country and job would make no sense. 

9.) Education

If either of them decides to go to school longer than the other (Ik some of you head canon Patricia going into Law which would be 4 extra years) I don’t see the other one moving without the other one. They aren’t splitting up. Would what they learn translate to America (law, or environment or etc.)? And the Job the other one has for the four extra years (or two if grad school) might be a job they don’t wanna leave 

10.) Being close to the house

I feel like in the case of an emergency Peddie would not hesitate to come back to Amun and help. They’re practically pros at it. Eddie used to be the Osirion for gods sake. I feel like they and even the other members (like Fabian) would feel a pull to be close enough to the house that they don’t need to cross an ocean if a supernatural Egyptian event occurs that needs their attention.

11.) Eddie understands life in England, Patricia doesn’t understand life in the US

She’d be starting over in a new country, something Eddie had to do and knows how hard it is. Would he wanna put her through that if she doesn’t want or need to herself? And how would she adjust? It could even potentially strain their relationship if not well.

12.) I believe they both like the UK.

While i talked about Eddie not hating the UK before, i don’t believe he just doesn’t hate it I believe he likes it in the UK. Why come back in season 3 if not? Why does he seem happy living there? It has memories for him like going to school, college (my headcanon but also super likely), and also the most likely place he and Patricia get their first place, get engaged and even married. Patricia obviously likes it as she also seems happy in the country and is a born citizen.

[aerialcedrick]

PINTEREST | MUSINGS | INTRO | TASKS

[ DA’VINCHI, HE/HIM, CIS MAN ]  —  [ CEDRICK CHANDLER ]  is a grandchild of  [ HERMES & EROS ]  with the power of  [ ENHANCED SPEED & WING MANIFESTATION ] .  they were born in  [ 1998 ]  and have been in nemean lion since  [ 2016 ] .  with the change, they [ ARE TRAINING IN ]  the  [ HERO ]  role which makes sense since they’re usually  [ LIFTING WEIGHTS OR TEACHING YOUNGER NEMEAN LION KIDS SPORTS ] .  if you’d like to meet them try the  [ SUN ]  building .  

GENERAL

Full Name: Cedrick Chandler  Nickname(s): Ricki  Age: 23  Date of Birth: December 13, 1998  Hometown: Baltimore, Maryland

FAMILY

Parents: Jenelle Chandler (mother) & Leroy Chandler Sr. (father, non-biological), Hermes (grandparent) Eros (grandparent) Sibling(s): Leroy “Roy/Junior” Chandler Jr. 16, Zeke “Zee” Chandler 9 (younger brothers, non-demigods)  Pet(s): Female Doberman Pinscher named Kahlúa    Family’s Financial Status: Middle Class

BIOGRAPHY

Ricki’s parents had him young. Jenelle, a child of Hermes, had chosen to live a life separate from her godly relatives. She had the power of omnilingualism and was studying foreign policy in undergrad, keeping the secrets of her skills to herself. College is the time for experimenting, and a threesome with a child of Eros left Jenelle and Leroy with a baby they didn’t know what to do with. Jenelle took a leave of absence from school to carry but never returned and Leroy finished his degree. The couple tried to look at Ricki’s conception as an act of love, something they both took part in, and decided against a paternity test in favor of raising him as their own. 

Ricki was 6 by the time Junior was born and wasn’t showing any signs of being a demigod. His speed felt like a gift and they put him in sports young, having played little league, soccer, and eventually running track in high school. Jenelle had a feeling he’d inherited his speed from her lineage, but never put that pressure on Ricki. Ricki was always a popular, likable guy and is incredibly close to his father. He loves kids and would do anything for his little brothers. He was a gifted athlete and though the Chandlers knew his skills were likely genetic, from Hermes, they chose to keep their kids out of the know.

Junior year of high school was when his wings were discovered. An uncontrollable itching in his back made him claw and scrape at his skin, unaware what the issue was. A few x-rays showed wings growing under his skin. That’s when his parents looked at each other and realized the truth: Ricki was not Leroy’s son. 

It took Ricki a long time to process this but he tried not to be distant, instead spending more time at the gym and hanging out with friends as a distraction. He started cutting class and lingering at the mall with the wrong crowd, even started stealing and getting into trouble. The day his parents told him they were sending him to NL he almost caused a riot. He’d worked hard, and having to admit that work wasn’t his own felt stolen. If it was up to him, he’d ignore the stretch in his back as long as he could.

When he got to NL he finally began embracing his powers out of a need to make an impression and show off. He liked being fast and knew with the right training from the right people he could be faster, better. Something about becoming a hero made him feel strong and important and special and he liked that. He got closer to Hermes, but still struggled to get close to Eros, and didn’t make any immediate efforts to work with his wings.

The growing pains got so bad that half way into coming to Nemean Lion Ricki started taking pain killers to help with the pain, but they made him distant and spacey. He didn’t take them long enough to form any strong reliance, and is going into this year trying to embrace his wings and learn to control them. He hopes to ask to shadow Levi, finally ready to take charge of his power. He wants to be proud, to learn how to soar. Also, he kinda can’t graduate from the hero track until he does.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Face Claim: Da’Vinchi  Height: 6 ft 3 in  Style/Aesthetic: Athletic, track jackets, varsity jacket, jeans, basketball shorts, cleans up nice and always has his chain on. Has his ears pieced and one either has a silver hoop, little diamond, or hanging cross. Always has a fresh fade and always clean shaven.  Extras: Ricki is a HUGE sneaker head, the type to stand in line early when a special pair drops, and has a section in his room where some never worn sneakers are on display. He buys really expensive running shoes and has a few custom pairs he wears on special occasions. He’s serious about his kicks. Also he gets manicures with a clear coat so his nails are always on point/clean and he’s best friends with his manicure lady.

PERSONALITY

Positive Traits: charming, outgoing, approachable, compassionate, understanding, hardworking, optimistic, fair-minded, honest, spontaneous Negative Traits: inconsistent, reckless, overly confident, occasional bursts of anger, forgetful    Hobbies: Collecting sneakers, playing sports, he’s a bit of a show off, going to the gym, hanging out/needs to be around people  Habits: forgetful/will sometimes agree to double plans, has a hard time not moving and has a LOT of energy so if he’s still too long you’ll catch him bouncing his leg or pacing. Has issues with focusing for too long and has a short attention span. Over exerts himself.

EXTRA

Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius  Temperament: Sanguine. Sanguines tend to be more extroverted and enjoy being part of a crowd; they find that being social, outgoing, and charismatic is easy to accomplish. Individuals with this personality have a hard time doing nothing and engage in more risk seeking behavior.  Moral Alignment: Neutral Good

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

Hometown friends/family friends 

Best friends/Good friends met at NL. Ricki is really social and definitely rolls with a few crews

A ride-or-die. I imagine Ricki has a lot of friends and is friends with almost everyone because he’ll go up and talk to anyone but he needs at least one day 1. I imagine Ricki has a close main crew that has a group chat and acts up together and would love to get a few chars together (4 or 5) to make that friend group dynamic a thing. Bonus: giant text threads hehe

Someone he’s super protective over, he would pull up in a second.

Additionally, someone who is super protective of him.

Others on the hero track he can train with.

A few enemies. I imagine some people think he’s annoying or a bit of a show off, he’s that kid that’s good at most things. Past friends who are current frenemies! Some friendly or unfriendly competition. Ricki doesn’t always feel the need to prove himself but unfortunately he never backs down from a challenge because he’s not a little bitch so he WILL agree to stupid dangerous shit.

People that were close to him when he was taking a lot of painkillers and would recognize a similar shift in his behavior.

Romances. Past flings or partners, someone who has a crush on him, someone he has a crush on, give me all of it! An almost-something-now-nothing. A friend who wants to use him to make someone else jealous but he’s in on it. Your char is his friend and he doesn’t like their partner/he’s your partners friend but your char doesn’t like him! Past lovers to friends, past lovers to enemies (bad breakup, now it’s all attitude). FWB. ALL OF IT. Ricki isn’t necessarily a player but he’s not that committal. He’s the type that comes off as boyfriend material but then forgets to text back and skips dates to train and then wanna act confused when you’re mad. Then he go and buy you ice cream and flash you his smile and you let him inside anyway.

Roommates/apartment mates in the sun building! 

Anything and everything!! Ricki is super versatile.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #141: Jeanne d’Arc Alter Santa Lily

That’s right, an unseasonably warm Christmas is upon us yet again, because it’s time for another Santa build! Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re making Jeanne d’Arc Alter Santa Lily yes that is her entire name. J Lils is a Divine Soul Sorcerer for some Christmas magic, but she’s also an Eloquence Bard, so she can deliver presents to good kids and stern lectures to bad ones. Plus, it makes all your spells Christmas carols!

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: Look up in the sky! It’s a bird! A plane! Its... Venus?

Race and Background

Normally we cheat a bit and call servants humans, but you’re on the losing end of Six Degrees of Separation with Mortality, so your Lineage is as Custom as it gets. (Seriously, you are the kid version of the evil version of the good version of Jeanne d’Arc.) This gives you +2 Charisma, a Small size, Performance proficiency for your next stage show, and the Lucky feat. This lets you re-roll your saves, checks, or attacks three times per long rest. You can also force attacks targeting you to be re-rolled using the same luck pool. 

Like your big sister you’re getting the custom Magic Doppelganger background, giving you proficiency in Arcana and Religion.

Ability Scores

Like your even bigger sister, we’re going with the standard array here. Feel free to roll if you really want to, but make sure your Charisma is your highest stat. You’re a cute kid, and you can also dish out a mean tongue lashing when you need to lay down the law. Second is Constitution, because that’s not just how beefy you are but how lucky you are too, and you’re lucky to be alive. Your Strength isn’t bad, you’re good with a spear but you’re still a kid. You are a bit clumsy when you get worked up, so your Dexterity isn’t great. Your Intelligence isn’t amazing, at least one version of you is illiterate and I don’t know how much that affects you, but we’re dumping Wisdom. Honestly a wiser servant probably would have logic-bombed themselves out of existence by now, so this might be a blessing in disguise.

Class Levels

1. Bard 1: Going into bard first gives you proficiency with Dexterity and Charisma saves, as well as three skills from the bard list. That is to say, the entire list of skills. Intimidation is probably the closest thing to lecturing people, but that might also be Persuasion, it depends on how you word it. You also get Deception proficiency, because you absolutely did not steal any cookies from the cookie jar.

You also learn Spells that you can cast using your Charisma Modifier, as well as some Bardic Inspiration. These are a number of d6 equal to your charisma modifier that you can give to allies to help with their checks, saves, and attack rolls. They recharge on long rests.

For cantrips, Friends and Vicious Mockery run you through D&D’s gamut of social interactions. Healing Word and Heroism make for nice gifts under the tree; Sleep and Comprehend Languages give you skills any santa will need to keep on top of their duties, and Identify will make sure you get the right gift to the right person!

2. Sorcerer 1: I was going to save the multiclassing for a bit, but you really don’t wear heavy armor and your dexterity isn’t great, so here we are.

As a Divine Soul sorcerer, your Spells are augmented with Divine Magic, letting you choose sorcerer or cleric spells when you level up, and you can cast them with your Charisma. You’re also Favored by the Gods, letting you add 2d4 to a failed save or attack roll once per short rest.

For your cantrips, Control Flames will make going down the chimney a bit less hazardous. Fire Bolt gives you a quick and dirty noel ball, otherwise use Light on an ornament and just throw that. You can also Spare the Dying for a last minute gift.

For spells, Mage Armor is almost mandatory for you, and Bless and Cure Wounds are both great gifts, just in time for the holidays. The former adds 1d4 to all attacks and saves three targets make for the duration, and the latter is healing! Everyone loves healing, it’s almost like money.

3. Bard 2: Second level bards are a Jack of All Trades, adding half of your proficiency bonus to all checks that aren’t already proficient. Santa-ing requires all sorts of skills. You also learn a Carol of Rest, adding 1d6 to the healing your party does over short rests. Your Magical Inspiration also lets your allies use your bardic inspiration to increase their spells’ healing and damage rolls. 

You can also cast Unseen Servant to deliver presents with the utmost secrecy!

4. Bard 3: Third level bards graduate from a college, and the college of Eloquence lets you lecture on par with the sternest of professors while also properly enunciating your Christmas carols. Your Silver Tongue lets you treat rolls of 9 or lower as 10 when you make a deception or persuasion check- naughty or nice, it’s up to you.

You can also use your Unsettling Words to point out all the naughty things a creature has done lately, spending a bonus action and an inspiration die to reduce the next save it makes based on the inspiration roll. 

You also get Expertise in two skills- Persuasion to rally your party members, and Deception to pointedly ignore how you refuse to let other people help you and bottle up all your problems due to a crippling lack of self-worth. 

By that I mean you also learn Knock. That’s exactly what I meant.

5. Bard 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to round up your Strength and Charisma scores for stronger spells, more inspiration, and a better time actually using your spear as a class named after a weapon.

You also get the cantrip Dancing Lights for more decorations, and Silence so that Knock from last level doesn’t wake up the house.

6. Sorcerer 2: Going back into sorcerer makes you a Font of Magic, giving you sorcery points equal to your sorcerer level. Right now you can turn those into more spell slots and vice versa, but better uses are coming.

You also learn the other half of Bless, Bane. Up to three creatures need to make a charisma save (DC 8 + proficiency + charisma modifier) or they subtract a d4 from their attacks and saves for the duration of the spell. By the way, yes, that does mean you can subtract 10 from an enemy’s save before blasting them. Life’s fun like that.

7. Sorcerer 3: At third level, sorcerers learn Metamagic, ways of altering their spells to suit their individual style by spending sorcery points.

Careful spells will let you protect your friends from the splashback of your choices in life. That’s not much of an issue right now, but we get scarier spells later. Otherwise, Twinned spells let you basically cast two spells at once, as long as the original could only target one thing. Now you can have red and green lights at the same time!

Speaking of spells that use neither of these options, Prayer of Healing will heal your entire party for a little bit! It has a casting time of 10 minutes though, so I’d save it for out of combat.

8. Bard 5: Heading back to bard for a bit improves your bardic inspiration, growing them to d8s. You also become a Font of Inspiration, meaning you regain inspiration dice on short rests instead of long ones.

You also learn Mass Healing Word. It’s Healing Word, but Mass.

9. Bard 6: At sixth level bards can waste their action on Countercharm, giving nearby allies advantage against being charmed or frightened. More usefully, you also get Unfailing Inspiration so your inspiration dice don’t go away until they’re used on a successful roll. 

You also learn Universal Speech, spending an action to make yourself understandable to any number of creatures within 60′ of you for an hour, regardless of the languages they speak. Now you can bring the joy of Christmas all over the world! You can use this once per long rest or by spending a spell slot.

If you’re still dealing with naughty children though, you can use Fear to put them in their place.

10. Bard 7: Seventh level bards get fourth level spells. There aren’t any here we really need for the build, but Hallucinatory Terrain will help you make sure it’s always a white Christmas.

11. Sorcerer 4: Use this ASI to bump up your Strength. Now your stabbing’s good. Yay!

You also learn Thaumaturgy for more of a stage presence and Magic Missile as a stand in for that green and red thing you do. You know the one.

12. Sorcerer 5: Fifth level sorcerers can use Magical Guidance to re-roll a failed skill check by using a sorcery point. They can also cast third level spells, like Gaseous Form, which makes your whole body a bit dreamlike to pass through solid objects.

13. Sorcerer 6: Sixth level divine souls get Empowered Healing, letting you re-roll any healing dice near you at the low cost of one sorcery point. You can only do this once per turn though.

In keeping with the tradition of “getting cool sorcery abilities and spells that 100% don’t use them”, you can now cast Sleet Storm to really let it snow.

14. Bard 8: Use this ASI to max out your Charisma. You also learn Greater Invisibility, so you can personally deliver presents to kids whether they’re sleeping or awake.

15. Bard 9: At ninth level, bards see their song of rest grow to a d8 as well. They also learn 5th level spells, like Mass Cure Wounds. It’s Cure Wounds, but Mass.

16. Bard 10: At this level your bardic inspiration grows again to d10s. 

I know we’ve been calling your healing spells “gifts”, but we also said they were like money- appreciated, but not really in the spirit of things. Thanks to Magical Secrets you learn two spells from any spell list. Grab the Mending cantrip for your normal cantrip this level, then grab Creation to make any sort of toy you could imagine out of thin air. Then use Conjure Volley for some mass production!

You also get Expertise in two more skills- Arcana and History are good picks here.

17. Bard 11: Eleventh level bards get sixth level spells, like Heroes’ Feast, for a great Christmas dinner.

18. Bard 12: Now that your magic’s stupid good, we should probably beef up your defenses. Normally we’d go with dexterity, but honestly your AC isn’t amazing anyway so we’ll go with Constitution. More health to burn through, and better concentration!

19. Bard 13: Your song of rest joins your inspiration in d10ville, and you get seventh level spells! Etherealness is next to ephemeralness, as the saying goes, so grab that spell and hop on the Ethereal Plane for the ultimate in home burglary skills. Now you can pass straight through objects and are completely undetectable to anything except ghosts. And blink spiders. Watch out for the blink spiders.

20. Bard 14: Our last eloquent goody is Infectious Inspiration, letting you spend a reaction to shuffle your inspiration to another person after it helps out the first person. You know how Christmas music is suddenly everywhere as soon as one radio station starts playing it? This is why. You can use this a number of times per long rest equal to your charisma modifier.

You also get one last round of Magical Secrets, and since we’ve covered most of our bases as far as presents and santa-ing goes, let’s spend these last two on Heal and Regeneration. Healing never goes out of style.

Pros:

Thanks to your maxed out charisma and unsettling words, your spells come with very difficult saves. Getting a 19 or higher on a d20-d10 is rough.

You also come packing a little bit of everything. You’re not terrible with a spear if you really need it, but you’ve also got some utility spells, healing, damage, social spells... you’ve got plenty of spread.

Speaking of being social, your guaranteed 10s on persuasion and deception, plus your expertise with both, means it’ll never be hard for you to sway crowds to your side of an argument.

Cons:

Despite having super tough saves you don’t really use them that much since you’re mostly a healer, or dealing with threats through indirect means.

We didn’t do much with your dexterity this time around, so your AC is honestly pretty terrible, especially for a caster class build. Your HP almost makes up for it, but it’s still not a great look for you.

Those levels in sorcerer we took might make your healing spells stronger and give you your only source of decent AC, but that also splits your spell list, keeping you from getting 9th level spells. Like every build, almost no benefit outweighs the wish spell.

[strangebeautiful]

Lessons I learned in my 20s.

Hi, it’s your resident Old Person here on Tumblr! As one of those folks in their 30s, I want to share some very important lessons I learned in my 20s in the hope that you will be able to take them and use them long before I did.

1. If someone consistently makes you feel like shit, you are under no obligation to keep them in your life. This goes for toxic relationships, friendships, and even family. If you are finding that interactions with a particular person are draining and demeaning over time, it does not matter how long that person has been in your life - they can go. Especially in your 20s, it’s easy to fall into the sunk cost fallacy and think “I’ve already poured five years into this relationship, I can’t leave it now even though I’m horrifically unhappy" and similar trains of thought about degrees and careers. You deserve people in your life that make you better instead of tearing you down. 

2. Life is not a series of time-sensitive benchmarks. If you hit 30 and you don’t have a husband/wife, house, or your dream job, it doesn’t mean you’re not successful! It’s okay to still want those things. You have plenty of time. What matters is that you are finding ways to enjoy life right now instead of pining for what you don’t have yet.

3. You’re never too old to chase your passions. Make time for yourself every day to do something that you like, even if it’s only 10 minutes! And especially if you’re in a relationship, I recommend having a hobby that is uniquely your own. It’s awesome to share interests with your SO, but it’s great to be able to explore your own things as well! It gives you something exciting to share when you come home at the end of the day.

4. Know what gaslighting is and what it looks like. It can happen at work, at home, with friends/family. Are you always “overreacting” or “too sensitive?” Do you find yourself apologizing for everything? Does your version of events not match up with theirs? Once you start seeing it, the easier it is to spot toxic people in your life. 

5. If labels feel good to you, use them! But you are under no obligation to explain, justify, or disclose any facet of your sexuality, gender identity, or kinks. Nobody has the right to make you feel like shit about who you are, or give you shit because your labels evolved over time. (Take it from the girl who lost friends in college because she flipped from identifying as a lesbian to bisexual - those people aren’t worth your time. The real ones will get it.)

6. Sexual compatibility is important. It isn’t the only thing that matters, but it’s really fucking important. It will take a big time toll on a relationship if you are not on the same page about sex. 

7. Good friends are worth their weight in gold. Fuel those friendships with love and kindness and you will receive it in kind! After my Big Breakup, I was terrified to navigate life alone again, but my friends were there for me in every way imaginable, from offering me a place to stay when I had nowhere else to go, listening to me cry, getting me out of the house, etc. Find your people and love them frequently and relentlessly.

8. Spend less time worrying about what people think about you. Laugh too loud at the coffee shop. Do that silly dance even if people are watching. Wear comfy pants to the grocery store because you fucking can. Be okay with embarrassing yourself a little. It’s all good!

9. It’s never too late to start taking care of your body! I’m a lifelong nerd (you knew that already) but I finally started legitimately exercising for the first time at 29. The key is finding a physical activity that you like doing. All of my friends are runners, and I fucking hate running. It’s not fun for me at all, so every attempt I made to do it was miserable. Finding weightlifting has been the best thing ever, because I actually enjoy doing it, and I feel like I have measurable goals for my sessions. It’s easier for me to see the progress I’m making, and it makes me motivated to keep going. Find the thing that motivates you and stick with it! 

10. Do the scary thing. You know, that scary thing that you keep making excuses for not doing because it’s inconvenient or you’re afraid of failing or you worry what people will think (see #8)? Just do it! I moved cross-country sight unseen even though it scared the ever-loving shit out of me. I did a 10-day silent meditation retreat over Christmas one year (and it was really fucking hard and I missed my family a lot), and I’ll carry the benefits for the rest of my life. I went to a BDSM club for the first time even though I was incredibly nervous, and met a bunch of really cool people. The world is your oyster! 

These things won’t apply perfectly to everyone, but I hope it’s good food for thought! 

Strange, out. ✌🏻

[gloriousxdarkness]

𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 .

1. what does your muse smell like ?

“Evergreen, and blood, and the air before a storm.” 

“That cemetery bouquet. Like sweet poison…“

she smells earthy and floral, and if you’re close enough (Or have hyper-senses) there’s a lingering, coppery hint of blood. the average person might think the metallic smell is coming from her jewelry, if they notice at all, or subconsciously perceive it and think danger. If she’s been running around she’ll smell like sweat and grime of whatever city she’s in. As for her chosen scents, I rather like Wild Poppy by NEST for her (ty @thatslayer​) which is clean and has a “cloudy-day” kind of feel. But as Elektra is not married to one liquor, or car, or city, I imagine she is not married to a single perfume, either. 

In college she may have played with scents as a way of teasing Matt, or gone without if they bothered him. She likes the way a person naturally smells, anyway.

2. what do your muse’s hands feel like ?

It hurts when one cracks across your face, lol. 

Elektra normally wears gloves when she’s out and about, and she has a particular high sense of physical care for herself. She doesn’t really have a job, so in the daytime it’s easy enough to spend some time and money on private doctors, expensive creams, etc. which helps her stay camouflaged in high society.

Given all that, I’d say her hands feel unexpectedly rough, for how she appears. They are callused from constant use— swordwielding on the reg, grip strength for parkour— and there are marks/shadowing from bloodying her knuckles all her life. She’s scarred her palms from a katana digging into them, specifically. But she rarely touches someone non-violently for them to find out.

3. what does your muse usually eat in a day ?

Elektra doesn’t cook. If she ever does, you can serve it to your enemies. She drinks coffee but not to excess, probably drinks more tea for the calming effect and lower caffeine levels. She probably eats several light meals throughout the day, more of a snacker than a sit down to a meal kinda person. It keeps her energy up while not feeling too heavy. Fighting makes her hungry, though, so she’ll chow down after that. She orders expensive takeout and pre-made meals. She’s indulgent, too, and not especially picky. She’ll munch on special baby pickles and caviar or diner food and cheap coffee with equal appreciation, loves pie, and her favorite snack is knife cheese.

4. does your muse have a good singing voice ?

her voice is quite pleasant to listen to. like warm oil when she’s pleased, and her accent tends to soften even the sharper things she says. there’s no point of reference for her singing voice in the show, though there’s a little bit in the comics— I imagine she can carry a tune but her talents lie elsewhere.

5. does your muse have any bad habits or nervous ticks ?

depends what you call a bad habit. In conversation, her tendency to withdraw into silence can kill. I think she drinks more when she’s uncomfortable with what she’s doing, but committed to doing it anyway. Oh, and yeah, she has a little bad habit of flagrantly breaking the law for fun. She doesn’t kill for fun, even if she sometimes has fun doing it, but she’ll do any number of other crimes for sheer kicks. Stealing cars and breaking & entering being top favorites. Adrenaline chaser. She can be controlling, doling out information as-needed (or as pressed, which I encourage). It’s in part for fun and in part so the other person can’t tell her no. She usually needs someone to tell her no. She isn’t especially trustworthy, because while you can ask her to play by your rules, even if she agrees she will ultimately do whatever she thinks she needs to later, even at the cost of damaging a relationship. While she’s socially graceful in public, she is awful at maintaining relationships and making friends. She is best at being ‘work partners.’

Nervous ticks— she’s in pretty good control of herself, but sometimes she rolls her thumb over her fingers, kinda toys with her hands, avoids your eyes/face, gets unnaturally still and you get the sense she’s holding back. Out on missions she can get panicky and antsy when things aren’t going right. She has this ‘close to death isnt this exciting im not scared’ laugh/smile thing too going on. She would be shaking and trying to keep hold of herself, not show her fear. Resurrecting stripped her of a lot of human-ness, but over time I believe it would come back, to a degree. The longer it’s been since she died, the better.

6. what does your muse usually look like / wear ?

Elektra almost always looks put together. For her “professional/fancy life” - skirt or dress and heels. She favors high necklines, soft blouses, and flatters her legs. She likes leather, gold jewelry, reds and blacks. Elektra has money and you can tell, all her clothes are tailored to her and the material looks expensive and pleasant on the skin, in that ‘dry clean only’ steamed and pressed kind of way. It’s old money— style over flash. Her hair is normally long, straight and often up in a ponytail.

Her wealth is part of a mirage, though— she’s actually not that picky about any of it. She just can have it, so she does. She’ll sleep in the shorts and a tank she just fought in no problem. If she’s not in ‘fancy’ mode she wears jeans, sweaters, button ups.

7. Is your muse affectionate?  How much?  How so?

it depends. Elektra is shown to be quite affectionate with Matt and to a point, with Stick. As much as he allowed her to be. She loves to reach for her partner, hold hands, touch their cheek, forehead press, and it means so much to her to receive the same. A romantic partner gets her affection more readily than a friend. Outside of romance, she adores getting a friend’s love ‘forced’ upon her, even if she’s kind of uncomfortable giving it, because it shows how she feels, especially around others. If she’s holding onto you or touching you, she feels very close to you.

I think she’s affectionate in other ways, though. Like she’s such a doer that she’d see a loved one has a problem or discomfort and just... fix it. Or try. Matt loves her silk sheets? Now he has some. You need money? Okay here. Having trouble with that stubborn witness? I’ll go intimidate him! for you! It’s not always the right response, but if she has the means to ‘help’, she usually will. Like Matt doesn’t take care of himself or let himself indulge and she would just... do what he’s not doing for himself, or make him do it, and kind of... take the blame, in that sense? It’s not his fault he can’t martyr himself if she’s forcing him to take this money or enjoy this essential oil bubble bath and massage. “Wear this beautiful overpriced suit for me, I’m the one who has to look at you.” Andd keep it. That kind of thing.

8. what position does your muse sleep in ?

Usually curled up on her side. She moves around a little in the night and sometimes ends up on her back.

9. could you hear your muse in the hallway from another room ?

Not if she’s trying to be quiet. Elektra can move and fight in total silence. She walked out on Matt in heels and he didn’t even hear her. NINJA.

Tagged by: @murdcck​ Tagging: @thatslayer, @phdinrage, @soulavenged, @timemovesonandon, @xsecondstringslayerx, @enduringlystoic, @iwannadogirlystuff, @wandyrlust, @hepunished, @kinginhismind, @artificiallyimplantedmemories, @lordofsparkles​

[a-woman-apart]

Watch "I'M BACK! WHY I LEFT YOUTUBE FOR TWO YEARS!" on YouTube

This scared me so badly, because this is EXACTLY what happened in my life, except it was all in The Reverse.

I graduated with an Associate Degree in Music Performance in 2018, but instead of running TOWARDS my dream/calling I ran hardcore AWAY from it. My pride in graduating only lasted a month before I declared myself Utterly Unmarketable and sought to go after a "real degree" and get a Big Girl career.

Between 2018 and 2020 I had major life changes.

My dad died of stomach cancer

I broke up with my neglectful boyfriend

I turned down a Full Ride to a major college

I hospitalized myself for Suicidal Ideation (Sept 2019)

I quit my job of 5 years

I started working for my best friend and became her Office Manager

I started dating the Love of my Life

I lost my friend group and peer support

I lost my mind and left college due to COVID-19 (but not before making one of my best decisions in taking a Screenwriting class because I WANTED not NEEDED it)

Started distancing myself from the toxic women in my life and definining Womanhood/Adulthood for myself

Visited my brother's grave after over a decade of waiting and got closure

Fully acknowledged my childhood trauma/abuse

Rediscovered my sexuality

Was disowned by who I erroneously thought was a close friend of 17 years over my political views

Joined and exited Unity2020

Turned in my car for repossession

Spent a week in the hospital after having a severe, paranoid psychotic break, but came out completely free of the vice of self-consciousness I was living under

You know what is nuts? I feel in many ways, I have completely reverted to who I was in the summer of 2011. I was off my meds, and it WAS mania, but personality-wise, the tempestuous, gum-chewing, cigarette-puffing, flirtatious, humorous, free-spirited ball of fire that drove all the way to Colorado on a whim wasn't rebellious, SHE WAS ME.

I just wasn't Me around the right people, and it wasn't the Right Time.

My inner Sagittarius moon would remain in a dormant state for almost a full decade. I would spend the next 9 years heavily sedated, sleepwalking through life, only alive at The Sound of Music.

It was Torture to feel so much but be afraid to express myself. I had to Hide while doing a major that demanded that I Command Attention. I am by nature "dramatic", "theatrical", "emotional", "expressive" but that part of me was so suppresed that I was frequently told I sang with excellence but without emotion.

Aside: During my 2011 manic episode, I spoke a lot about Doppelgangers. Without going into excessive detail, this is a German word that means "Double" and it is considered bad luck to encounter yours.

In the past 2 weeks, I have encountered people that look/sound like me (Josephine is Nigerian-Canadian and I am Nigerian-American and I kept thinking about her work even though I initially disagreed with her lot) and a woman with my name (different spelling) who was NOTHING like me and I also think might've had malice in mind for me.

I was DEFINITELY an agnostic atheist when I started this year, but as a result of undergoing so much weird shit I almost certainly believe in God, and yes, "God is a Woman." (More on that later)

Also, I realized that I really DID, as many teenage girls, "lose interest in math and science" but that was because of the terrible, unfactual way it was presented in my homeschool curriculum and by my mom, who was a Math major but whose disinterested detachment made every algebra lesson an excercise in torture.

I have always loved biolology and anatomy and I remember so much more chemistry than I thought. Geology class in community college was amazing and also helped me understand-- even more than the Theory of Evolution-- why young earth creationism was completely impossible.

As for math, I spent 15 years thinking it was my greatest weakness when I have had to use arithmetic in cashiering, my managerial work, and my monthly budget for the last 7 years. Also, as annoying as it was to hear constantly, my mom parroting "What you have to do to one side, you have to do to the other" (but in reverse) gave me the ability to do Algebra quickly and (mostly) effortlessly. I could never get A's, but I got a B in Quantitative Mathematics with no real help aside from occasional teacher input and the "Help me solve this" function of MyMathLab.

Here is where it Gets Weird. I am a Creative. I have been writing stories since I was 6 years old. I have loved Story all my life. My parents were in math and science fields and they completely lacked any creativity. COMPLETELY. It was part of why they were so religiously rigid, authoritarian, and draconian. There was no room for spontaneity or childish imaginativeness.

Looking back, I had major sensory and processing issues. I was likely speech delayed, I learned to read late, and I recently confirmed that when I am stressed my dyscalculia kicks in bad (it IS real). Numbers and symbols get really interchangeable (like an 8 and infinity symbol become kinda the same) which is why I had to recite phone numbers out loud to remember them or write them on colorful backgrounds so I can see them in my head as an image. Also explains my aversion to math but my ease with fractions (1/2 is half a sandwich, etc).

My spatial awareness is also shit when stressed. Before I turned in our car, I had earned the nickname "U-turn" from my boyfriend because on that Floating Death Machine left and right got completely crossed, frequently.

By the way, I struggled with right and left until I WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD. I literally didn't understand the concept of a mirror and 3D space, meaning that the basic understanding that my right is someone else's left didn't come into play until I had an argument with my [now-deceased] brother about it.

What is so weird, is that because of years of correcting for these issues, my sense of direction, ON FOOT is good, if not better than most people. Also, once I realized that, given the opportunity, I very much do whatever I can with my left-hand, and that my hearing is MUCH better than I even thought, I am far less clumsy. Depth perception is still crap, but that is probably also because I was forced to spend years without the glasses I needed (and got earlier this year after living with chronic eye strain)

When I talk about these "issues" it is in line with female autism, but you know what? If really do have adult autism, then I am a Complete Boss because I have pwned that ho.

After being rehospitalized, a kind nurse suggested I may have PTSD and suggested medicine for insomnia and nightmares. It was extremely helpful. I had been looking into C-PTSD for a while, because I didn't think I had "suffered enough" to have "real" PTSD. But that isn't how diagnoses work.

Btw, I still have Bipolar I, Psychotic Features. Another kind nurse told me I don't need anti-psychotics, and no, I don't. I was given Zyprexa by a bitch nurse and it was like getting drunk. I stumbled the halls, almost fell over (possibly did) and woke up with a neon "Fall Risk" bracelet. Anti-psychotics also fucked up my menstrual cycle for years and I have had lingering hormonal isssues. Haha no thanks.

Anyway, I digress. Of course I am fucked up. I lived under family members who questioned my reality, attempted to crush my dreams, threatened me with physical punishment any time I behaved in non-neurotypical ways, violated my rights and interfered with my treatment even though I was a full legal adult, undermined my relationships, tortured and socially isolated me, etc., all under the guise "of knowing best."

In minority cultures, our darkness hides in plain sight, and ESPECIALLY in the Bible Belt, with its supeestition and idolization of familial hierarchy/patriarchy, victims of financial, spiritual, emotional, and physical abuse have no where safe to turn. The Long Arm of the Law is often Short when it comes to "breaking up the family", and women and children are victimized openly with little to no intervention.

On top of doing my Creative Work, I plan to create legislation to make sure that what happened to me and my siblings isn't allowed to go unpunished. We lost my older brother, and I almost died, too, but Enough is Enough.

The Time is Now.

P.S. If Josephine is an Air Nomad I identify as a Water Bender. I basically have no water in my astrological chart, but water signs bring me great comfort in times of need (and make bad romantic partners for me obviously)

Also, this is one Bad Biyatch.

I also found out I am an ISFJ, not INFJ. Yep. Gonna be a Playwright and Director. I want to be a part of the action, not just writing about it.

[manjimelody]

Champagne Truffles

Pairing: Weiszmura  Setting: Modern AU Surprise @theweiszguy! I’m your secret santa! Enjoy some lovey dovey Weiszmura since I know that they’re your current otp. Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!!

Weisz stood in front of the mirror, fumbling with his tie. Witch and Ivry were hosting a New Year’s Eve party at their home, so Weisz had decided to use the festive occasion to surprise his lovely girlfriend when the clock struck midnight. However, his mind started getting clouded with all the things that could possibly go wrong as the time to leave for the party got closer. 

“Are you nervous?” the sound of his roommate’s voice snapped the blonde out of his thoughts. 

“Shiki, is it cheesy to propose on New Year’s?” Weisz replied, dodging his question.  

Shiki shrugged his shoulders. “I guess some people would consider it cheesy, but who cares what some people might think. Rebecca thinks it’s cute and romantic and honestly so do I.” 

Weisz faked a sigh and smirked. “I don’t know if I can trust that. You and Rebecca can be a pretty cringey couple.” 

“Do you want my advice or not?” Shiki snapped as Weisz laughed. “By the way, you didn’t answer my question earlier.” 

“What question?” Weisz asked, feigning ignorance. 

“I asked if you were nervous about tonight.” 

Weisz rubbed the back of his neck. He figured might as well tell the truth. They had grown very close over the years they lived together, so Shiki could easily tell if he was lying. “Yeah.. I guess...I mean what if Homura says no?” 

“I doubt she would say no. You two have been together for 4 years. She really loves you, “ Shiki pointed out, patting his back. 

Weisz smiled at his words, memories of their romantic getaways over the years flooding his mind. “Thanks buddy. That makes me feel better. I love her, and I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with her.” 

“Wow you are so whipped. I can’t believe the Weisz who used to bring a girl home every weekend during college wants to settle down and get married,” Shiki teased, causing the blonde’s cheeks to flush. 

“Oh please. As if you aren’t totally whipped for Rebecca,” he huffed, causing Shiki to laugh. 

“Hey I didn’t say I wasn’t,” Shiki winked, causing Weisz to roll his eyes. 

The sound of a few knocks on the door caught their attention. Weisz glanced at the clock and saw that it was almost seven indicating that it was probably Homura and Rebecca at the door. Shiki had already rushed out into the living room before Weisz could react.  

“And he says that I’m whipped,” Weisz chuckled to himself. 

Weisz walked out to the living room, his jaw dropping as Homura walked through the front door in all her glory. She donned a long midnight blue dress with a slit on her left thigh and a plunging neckline that complimented her voluptuous figure. Weisz had to restrain himself from drooling. She looked gorgeous.  

“Wow Weisz, I didn’t know your eyes were that big,” Rebecca teased as Shiki laughed with her. 

Weisz ignored his friend’s jokes, continuing to marvel at his beautiful girlfriend. Homura smiled and waved as she walked up to him. She poked at his chest and giggled. “You’re like a statue.” 

Weisz smirked, placing his hands on her hips. “No you’re the actual work of art here. I just had to admire you.” 

Homura smiled before closing the gap between them into a sweet kiss. “Thank you. You look very handsome yourself.” 

 “I don’t mean to interrupt, but we should head out soon. Ivry will chew us out if we’re late,” Rebecca pointed out.  

“True. I don’t want to listen to her nag,” Weisz sighed. He walked to the kitchen and grabbed the box of sweets off the counter as the others gathered their things. 

“What are you taking?” Homura asked as Weisz grabbed the car keys. 

“I got the chocolate champagne truffles from the lindt store. I know how much you love those. I can give you one now if you want,” Weisz offered. 

Homura’s eyes brightened in excitement for a second before her lips curved into a frown. “No thanks. I-uh-don’t feel like eating one today.” 

Weisz raised his eyebrow in confusion. She never said no to eating one of these truffles. “Are you sure?”  

“Um yeah.”

Weisz eyed her suspiciously. He understood that sometimes people weren’t in the mood for certain treats, but her initial excited look proved otherwise. He decided to let it go since there were more important things to focus on like the box with the ring in his pocket. 

***

When they reached Witch and Ivry’s large apartment, they were immediately enveloped into a warm hug by Witch. After they exchanged their greetings, Weisz felt Ivry wrap her arm around his shoulder. “So I heard from Shiki that you’re planning on proposing to Homura tonight.” 

“Yeah I’m going to do it after midnight.” 

Ivry’s lips curved into a smug smile. “If you guys would like to have some alone time after, the guest room is open for you.” 

Weisz felt his cheeks burn at her blunt remark. “I don’t know if Witch would like that.” 

“She doesn’t have to know. Just don’t be too loud,” Ivry winked, wiggling her eyebrows. 

“Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind,” Weisz waved her off. It’s not that the idea of sneaking off with Homura wasn’t appealing to him, but he knew Homura liked to keep their bedroom adventures in their own bed. 

The rest of the night was filled with chatting, dancing, games, eating, and lots of laughter. It was already reaching midnight before they realized the time. 

“Hah is he drunk?” Weisz questioned in amusement as Shiki wrapped his arms around Rebecca, refusing to let her go.  

“I think so. He had two shots of whiskey,” Rebecca informed, patting Shiki’s head.  

“Only two? What a lightweight,” Weisz snorted, taking a sip of his sparkling wine. 

“Only five more minutes until midnight,” Witch announced to the guests, opening the window blinds. “We’ll get a good view of the fireworks being set off in downtown from here.” 

“You guys can also step out onto the balcony if you want,” Ivry added. 

“Let’s go out to the balcony!” Homura exclaimed, causing Shiki to groan. 

“But it’s cold!” 

Weisz rolled his eyes. “It’s only 60 degrees, you baby.”

Shiki shook his head. “Still cold.” 

Rebecca sighed. “You two can go. I’ll stay inside with him.”  

“Thanks!” Weisz and Homura stepped out onto the balcony, marveling at the view of the city in front of them. They stood there for a few moments in a comfortable silence, enjoying each other’s presence. 

“Years go by so quickly. I hope next year will treat us well,” Homura spoke up. 

“I hope so too. I have a feeling it will,” Weisz agreed, reaching for the box inside his pocket.  

“Only twenty more seconds left until midnight! Let’s do a countdown!” Ivry yelled, causing the guests inside to cheer. “10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! Happy New Year!!”   

Homura turned to Weisz and took his hands in hers. “Happy New Year, Weisz! I love you!” 

Weisz grinned, locking his fingers with hers. “Happy New Year. I love you too!” 

Weisz tilted his head to capture her soft lips with his as the fireworks started booming in the sky. It was a perfect moment that Weisz wished would never end, but it was time for something more important. After they reluctantly broke the kiss, Weisz stared into Homura’s eyes adoringly. He was ready for his next move. “Homura, I have something to tell yo-” 

“I’m pregnant!” 

“What?!” 

Weisz stared at Homura in shock as she quickly covered her mouth with her hand, realizing what she just confessed. Homura lowered her gaze, blushing deeply. “Sorry. I found out two days ago, and I’ve been wanting to tell you but I was kind of scared of how you would react. I didn’t mean to keep it fro- mmph!” 

Weisz cut her off with a kiss, grinning from ear to ear after he pulled away. “I can’t believe this. I’m going to be a father. This works out perfectly!” 

“What do you mean? You’re not angry?” Homura questioned, staring at him with wide eyes. 

“Of course not. I have no right to anyway since I'm the one who knocked you up. Actually, I’ve been wanting to ask you something all night,” Weisz took out the box from his pocket and got down on one knee, causing Homura to gasp. “Homura Kougetsu, you are the most amazing and badass woman I have ever met. Before I met you, I used to sleep with any girl I met at the club. Not bothering to call them again the next day. However, everything changed after you came into my life. You taught me what it’s like to love someone unconditionally. You changed me. I was able to become a better person thanks to you. I can’t imagine my life without you so will you marry me?” 

Homura placed her hand over her heart, a bright smile appearing on her countenance. “Yes! Yes! I will marry you, Weisz!” 

Weisz put the ring on her finger, and she jumped into his arms, peppering his face with kisses. Weisz laughed and kissed her deeply. “Thank you, Homura. I’m so excited to get married and meet our baby!”   

“I am too. I’m so happy that you want to spend the rest of your life with me. I was worried about how you were going to react to me being pregnant since we didn’t plan this, but I had no reason to be worried after all,” Homura confessed. 

Weisz bent down and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his head against her stomach. “I’m ready for anything if it’s with you. Whether we have a son or a daughter, I know they’re going to be as good looking as us and as badass as you!”  

“Hopefully if we have a son, he won’t sleep around like you did before we started dating,” Homura teased, causing Weisz to playfully scoff. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure he’s a gentleman, “ Weisz assured as he stood back up. “By the way, is that why you refused to have a champagne truffle earlier?” 

Homura nodded. “Yeah I heard that it’s bad to have alcohol when you’re pregnant. I know that my excuse was lame. I’m bad at lying, but I didn’t want you to find out yet.” 

“Yeah I found it weird, but it’s fine. This was an amazing surprise. Funny how we both ended up surprising each other,” Weisz pointed out, causing Homura to laugh in agreement. 

Weisz leaned forward so that his mouth would be right next to her ear. “So future Mrs. Steiner. Ivry told us that we could use the guest room for some fun if we wanted to. Would you be up for that?” 

Homura leaned forward to mimic his actions. “Sure Mr. Steiner. I would love to!” 

Weisz chuckled. “Wow. I didn’t expect you to actually say yes.” 

“It’s a new year. Time to try some new things,” Homura winked, running her hands down his chest. Weisz smirked, getting excited at her actions. 

“Shiki’s right. I am so whipped,” the lovestruck blonde whispered to himself as his beautiful fiancée led him back into the apartment for a thrilling night. 

[becauseoftswift]

I’ve been thinking about writing this post for a long time, but Taylor’s new Vogue article made me think it might be time.

The pictures you see are first, one of me as a teenager in probably 1997 and me not too long ago about to go on a client visit. In 1997 I lived in a small town, I was the nerdy smart girl, I was shy, and didn’t have many friends. Fast forward to today, I lead a team at a multi billion dollar company and spend my days advising executives at the largest companies in the world on the topic of communications.

I say this not to brag, but to let you know about what I’ve learned, faced, and tell you you can do it too.

I come from a family where I was the first generation to go to college and at one point growing up we lived in a travel trailer. So I definitely didn’t have it all handed to me on a silver platter.

Here’s some thoughts...of course there’s 13 for Tay.

1. Who you are in high school (or at any point really) doesn’t have to define you. I grew and changed a lot after high school and even my best friends came in college and beyond. It’s only recently that I started reconnecting with those I grew up with and it’s been so healing.

2. It can be really hard and frustrating to be a woman in business, especially one who looks younger. But because of the wars waged by older generations it is possible to have great success. I’ve had many things happen I won’t go into, but that said, I’ve made my way to success by not letting it get to me and not giving up. I hope I’m making it easier for those who are younger to get there too.

3. I’ve also had amazing mentors. Find someone you admire, work with them, learn from them, take opportunities as they come your way. Sometimes they’ll feel totally right even though it’s not what you thought you wanted. Those situations have led to amazing paths I never would have imagined.

4. When you’re a woman it always feels like you’re either too old or too young, sometimes at the same time. Try to embrace where you are.

5. Your romantic relationships don’t define your worth. I grew up thinking I’d get married and have kids (except of course my cat children). That hasn’t happened and I spent a lot of years figuring out that doesn’t mean I’m less than.

6. If you’re like me figuring out who you want to be when you grow up never ends and I think that’s ok.

7. Try for things you think are out of reach. I never thought I’d get a master’s degree or own a home on my own so for years I didn’t really look into if I could make those things a reality. Once I did I realized I could actually do it. I got my MA in 2013 and bought my first house all by myself last year. I bet Taylor thought many times her type of success would never happen, what would have happened if she didn’t try?

8. Do things that other people might judge you for and be ok with that. For example having two cats and loving Taylor Swift as a single woman in my 30s is not exactly a popular life choice. But wow, doing that has been so fun!

9. Like Taylor and I’m sure many of you, I spent so long hating my reflection. I spent YEARS trying to use that hate as motivation to make healthy changes in my life. It never worked. It’s only recently when I decided I deserved better that healthy changes began to take root. The best change comes from love, not hate.

10. Don’t ‘wait for your life to start.’ Buy that dress or fancy KitchenAid mixer, or whatever you want (as long as you have the budget 😉). I waited for so long to do things that made me happy because I was waiting to be a grown up, (whatever that means) get married, etc.

11. I had a lot of guys tell me they didn’t want to date me because I was too independent. Don’t fall for it. You don’t need to be saved to be lovable.

12. You can survive the unthinkable. My dad died of cancer when I was 25 and my mom was never the same. I couldn’t imagine life without them, but while I still deal with that grief, life has still been beautiful.

13. Women are incredible and I’ve learned you and I are capable of so much. Know that if you’re struggling, like Taylor says, where you’ve been doesn’t have to define where you’re going and I’m so grateful for that. I’m cheering for you and I know Taylor is too.

I’ll stop there for now. Love you. 💖

[bravadoseries]

All the evens for Audrey and all the odds for Margo!

thank you!  this got super long so i’m putting it under a cut hehe

audrey: 

2. why is your oc problematic?

audrey is problematic because she has no clue what she’s doing when it comes to anything and when it comes to being a hero, she relies almost entirely on trial and error.  

4. what crossovers with other ocs have you talked about?

i have talked about crossovers with you for leila, @emiliachrstine​ with jacqueline, and @notaboutcat​ with grace barnes!!!  

6. if your oc were to have superpowers, what would they be? if your oc has superpowers, what are they?

so audrey has super soldier strength as her primary superpower, and also there’s some other stuff that will be revealed during the thor: tdw arc

8. alright, be honest—whether or not they get the chance to prove it, is your oc worthy?

so i think that audrey does become worthy eventually during endgame, but i think that all the avengers are.  

10. what’s your oc’s fight song? (e.g., immigrant song for thor, just a girl for carol)

girls just wanna have fun!!! i think is the biggest one.  but i have actually picked out songs for the main fights in all of the movies audrey is in: 

avengers battle of new york: “mama talking” by parov stelar

moscow fight against bucky: “bad guy” by billie eilish which i know wasn’t technically released yet but it’s okay

thor: tdw final fight: “big god” by florence and the machine

tws final fight: “seven nation army” by the white stripes

avengers: aou battle of sokovia: “glass & patron” by fka twigs

captain america: civil war airport scene: “bad blood” by taylor swift

angels of mercy final fight: “tomboy” by princess nokia

thor: ragnarok: “the future’s so bright, i gotta wear shades” by timbuk 3 

avengers: iw: “yellow flicker beat” by lorde

avengers: endgame: “girls just wanna have some” by chrormatics and “lights up” by harry styles and “boys wanna be her” by peaches 

12. what was your oc like in high school?

audrey didn’t officially go to high school because she was tutored privately until she started just going to college but she was generally bored with her tutors.  when she went to high school in the 80s, she was jarred.  even though she’d gotten several degrees by that point, she was like freaked out by being with other people and having to have a social life because in college she just didn’t talk to anybody.  so she was nervous and quiet but she did have one good friend!

14. your oc meets thanos. what’s their first move?

omg audrey’s first move is to spit on him, i think, and then she just like attempts to tackle him and scratch his eyes out ngl

16. your oc gets married. which canon characters are in the wedding party?

yesss braudrey wedding time!! natasha is one of her bridesmaids, tony is the officiant, and both steve and darcy walk her down the aisle.  steve and darcy have a young daughter by this point who is a flower girl with morgan, and they’re super cute.  i could talk about the braudrey wedding for so long though i have so many little plans

18. what are your oc’s bad habits or vices?

audrey loves sweets, i think is one of her vices. she also tends to know she’s making bad choices but go through with them anyway. 

20. your oc wears the gauntlet (without any detrimental effects on their health) and gets one snap to wish for anything they want. what do they ask for?

audrey asks to destroy the infinity stones, i think most likely.  she doesn’t want that energy to be condensed into such a powerful form because that’s like a nightmare.  i think it changes from film to film, but by the end, her final wish is for everyone to not be so powerful all the time

22. what does your oc’s bedroom look like?

audrey’s apartment is very minimalist, because it’s easy for her to get overwhelmed.  before she moved into the tower, she was a workaholic because she would get so bored with her freetime that she always had case files everywhere.  once she joins the avengers though and kind of like starts building a life for herself, she starts to settle into her place more and have details that reflect her life more—photos on the walls, little things that she collects from good memories, and a lot of books on the shelves!  audrey likes big windows and keeps them open, but the space is mostly like white with dark blue accents.  

24. which characters from other movies or shows is your oc a combination of?

excellent question!  so audrey reminds me a lot of like the most chaotic combinations of mike schur main ships?  she’s both chidi and eleanor, and both jake and amy.  she’s anxious but also impulsive, awkward but also extremely loving, strong but also scared.  

26. which canon character would they go to for advice? why?

audrey goes to different characters for advice about different things!  with moral problems, she goes to steve.  with fighting advice, she heads to natasha, obviously.  with relationship advice, she heads to darcy.  and later, post aou, audrey actually spends a lot of time with wanda and pietro becoming more politically active.  

28. what’s your oc’s biggest flaw?

audrey is scared of everything! i think is her biggest flaw.  it’s hard for her to overcome that fear.  

30. what movies or shows is your oc featured in?

audrey is in agent carter, she has cameos in iron man 1+2, thor 1, captain marvel, and captain america: tfa.  she’s a main in avengers, thor 2, tws, avengers: aou, captain america: civil war, thor 3, and avengers iw and endgame!

margo: 

1. how did you pick your oc’s name?

margo is short for margaret! i think peggy is kind of an old-fashioned name (technically so is margo) but margo is cute and short too 

3. besides their main ship, who else do you think they would work well with?

i think margo could have a relationship with magnus (thor and jane’s older son) but it probably wouldn’t be super healthy.   also i think she and calliope could have had a cute relationship which coulson would have lost his mind about lol.

5. what’s a crossover with another oc that you’ve wanted to do, but haven’t officially discussed or planned?

i feel like it would be cool to talk about margo with @cassercole​‘s queve family ! i think an audrey and q crossover would just slap in general because i think it would be angsty and cool and i can imagine q being like . i did not sign up to be a stepmother, but thanks, but then the two of them actually becoming friends eventually.  

but anyway, i can imagine bonnie and tristan teasing margo and making them call her aunt and uncle but them all getting along well and hanging out at family reunions and getting into trouble . having a vision of the three of them stealing a blunt or something from tony’s jacket pocket at thanksgiving and then all of them being high and paranoid about getting caught by steve. 

q catches them and margo is like please don’t be mad and please don’t tell my mom and q just rolls her eyes and closes the door to the room they’re all in after telling them dinner’s in 10 minutes, and she won’t tell but it’s up to them not to get caught.  

7. rank their compatibility with the marvel teams: avengers, guardians of the galaxy, agents of shield, defenders, runaways

okay so: 1) avengers, because they’re her family.  2) gotg, because she thinks they’re all super weird and cool.  3) runaways, because i think she’s scrappy and has a similar sheltered background to them.  4) aos, just because found family time.  5) defenders.  super brutal and she’s just like ummmm i am scared . 

9. which other mcu characters would your oc really get along with?

i think gamora and margo would get along super well.  also margo’s close with carol because she likes how she’s not too serious about herself as a hero.  i think she’s also probably gets along well with wanda and pietro.  she’s super close with her dad, also.  

11. post a snippet of the next chapter of an oc’s fic!

okay to be honest i have not written any of margo’s fic yet so i will have to pass 

13. what’s a secret about your oc that they would never admit? feel free to be as angsty or as silly as you’d like!

margo would never admit it but she has a slight schoolgirl crush on thor, who is one of the strength instructors slash english teachers at the academy.  

15. if your oc has a costume/were to have a costume, what does it/would it look like? what colors? cape or no cape?

no cape, but sometimes she ties a towel around her neck and dances in her dorm room.  margo’s costume would probably look a lot like helena bertinelli’s costume on arrow—very classic, infinity mask, etc. 

17. after a battle, how does your oc recover?

she cries into her pillow for several hours and enters a period if intense self loathing and eats ice cream.  

19. what were some other faceclaims you considered for your oc?

when audrey was shipped with pietro, margo was played by josefine frida petersen!

21. if your oc survived the snap, who do they miss the most?

in an au where audrey has margo before infinity war and the snap, margo would be devastated to grow up without her mother

23. what’s their love language? what’s the love language of the character they’re shipped with?

i think margo’s is words of affirmation, and leo’s is quality time! 

25. which characters annoy your oc? why?

margo gets annoyed with her mom, a lot.  audrey and bex are really close and so she feels left out of that relationship.  i also think that margo doesn’t get along super well with pepper because she thinks pepper doesn’t like her.  she doesn’t like peter quill that much, even though she likes the rest of the guardians.  and she never meets loki, but i think she would absolutely hate him.  

27. what’s your oc’s biggest strength?

i think her biggest strength is her big heart!  she feels a lot and she’s kind of intense but she’s a very loving person.  

29. team cap, team iron man, team i don’t care, or team please stop fighting?

team please stop fighting!! she’s like why is my life an episode of family feud . i know she doesn’t exist then but she looks back on it and brings it up sometimes and they’re both deeply embarrassed about it in hindsight and also like . okay BUT and she’s like okay nevermind!!!!

[smart-asset]

10 Steps to Reach Financial Stability

Imagine a world where you don’t have to constantly stress about money. You have enough to cover your bills and regular expenses. More than that, how would you like to know that you can afford to live the lifestyle you want to live? These things are all possible when you are financially stable. So what is financial stability and how can you get there? Let's take a look.

What Is Financial Stability?

When you are financially stable, you feel confident with your financial situation. You don’t worry about paying your bills because you know you will have the funds. You are debt free, you have money saved for your future goals and you also have enough saved to cover emergencies. Financial stability isn’t about being rich. In fact, it isn’t a number at all. It's more of a mindset. When you have financial stability, you don’t have to stress about money and you can focus your energy on other parts of your life.

This may sound like a dream, but financial stability is something you can achieve. It will take some time and you will need to put in the work. If you follow these 10 steps though, you can reach your financial dreams.

1.  Make Your Finances Personal

It’s very important to say this right off the bat: your personal finances are personal. That doesn't mean personal in the sense that you can’t talk to anyone about your money. Making your finances personal means focusing on your situation and not worrying about anyone else’s situation.

This is one of the most important things for helping you to reach financial stability. We live in a culture where we constantly compare ourselves to others. We are told that we need to live a certain lifestyle because that’s how successful people live.

Block out all that noise! Forget about keeping up with the Joneses. It doesn’t matter if your friends earn more money than you. The only thing that matters is how much you have and how you can use what you have to reach your goals.

Another important part of this rule is forgetting about the "right way" to do things. Yes, some financial decisions are generally better than others. However, many things in personal finance depend on the person. There isn't one specific method or timetable that's best for everyone.

If you create a savings goal and you miss it, don’t beat yourself up for doing the wrong thing. Just look at what happened. What went well and what didn’t go well? Use that information to improve for next time.

2. Understand That Your Most Important Investment is Yourself

Before you ever think about investing money in the stock market, you should look to invest in yourself. Invest the time, energy and money to teach yourself the skills you need. This includes college degrees. It also includes other knowledge and skills. Learning things that don’t directly relate to your job can sometimes help you just as much as work-related skills. Employers typically want well-rounded employees who can contribute to a company in multiple ways. They also want someone who shows the drive and ambition to improve themselves.

Did your interviewing skills hold you back from getting that dream job? There are classes, books and online resources that you can use to improve for next time. Improving your skills is always a good investment. It opens you up to more opportunities and increases your career-earning potential.

At the same time, your health is vital for your success. One thing that drains a savings account very quickly is medical bills. While you can’t prevent all illnesses, a healthy diet with regular sleep and exercise can go a long way. That also means limiting your stress. Find ways to relax and unwind.

3. Earn Income by Doing Something You Enjoy

The primary way for most people to earn money is through a job. So if you’re thinking about financial stability, the best place to start is with a job that pays you a steady income. Even better is to find a job that you enjoy.

Doing work that you enjoy will make things that much easier. For some people this means changing careers. It could mean changing companies because you don’t like the people or structure at your current company. Maybe the key for you is to get a part-time job and to start freelancing. That may not sound like the conventional way to do things, but your happiness (and sanity) is more important that following convention.

4. Start a Budget

That’s right, budgeting. You’ve most likely heard this advice before. Budgets aren’t as bad as they may sound though. A budget is just a tool to help you spend money on the things you want to spend money on.

First of all, why is a budget important? When you keep a budget, you can track where your money is going. It’s easy to spend more than you should if you don’t actually know how much you’re spending. So more than anything else, a budget helps you keep track of your money.

Once you know how you spend your money, you can make a plan. There are always essential things that you have to spend money on. That could include your rent or mortgage, utility bills, food, car payments or transportation to and from work. These essential things should make up about half of your spending. (Experts generally recommend that your rent/mortgage not make up more than 30% of your monthly spending.)

Then you should try to put 10% to 20% of the remaining money toward your future. That means your retirement account, emergency fund and other savings accounts. Once you do all that, you can live off the remaining money. To make sure you don’t overspend, you might want to figure out how much you should spend each month on common things like eating out or buying clothes. Regardless of exactly what you spend money on, try to spend purposefully. Put your money toward the things that are important to you. Then cut back on the rest.

5. Live Below Your Means

Like creating a budget, this is advice that many people have heard. The trouble is that many of us have a hard time following it. As mentioned in step one (Make Your Finances Personal), we live in a world where we constantly hear about the things that we "should" buy. It’s very easy to spend money on extra things that we don’t need. However, living below your means is key for your long-term financial success. If you regularly spend all of your money, or more money than you make, you can’t expect to grow any savings.

Living below your means works in tandem with budgeting. Your budget tells you how much money you have and can spend each month. Then you can work with that number to make sure you don’t overspend.

6. Create an Emergency Fund

Before you think too much about putting money into retirement or toward your debt, you should work to build an emergency fund.

An emergency fund is a way to protect yourself from the unexpected. There’s always a chance that you lose your job and have to get by for a bit with no regular salary. Maybe you need to make a big car repair or take a trip you hadn’t planned for. An emergency fund will cover some or all of the costs and help you through a tough time. An emergency fund will also ease your mind by giving you a backup plan.

Sometimes people skip an emergency fund in favor of saving for retirement. Then a big expense comes up and they have to pull money from their retirement account in order to cover it. Removing money early from your retirement account should always be a last resort. It detracts from your retirement savings and you’ll probably have to pay penalties. For example, you have to pay a 10% penalty if you make early withdrawals from a 401(k).

7. Pay off Your Debt

Debt will always make it difficult to reach financial stability. Once you know how much you can comfortably spend (through budgeting) and once you have an emergency fund, focus on getting rid of debt. Pay off any credit card debt you may have and avoid future debt on your cards. Have student loans? Make extra payments to get rid of them as quickly as possible. Just because you signed a 10-, 20- or 30-year payment plan doesn't mean you can't pay off your loans sooner. Paying your loans sooner will actually save you money in the long run because you'll pay less in interest.

The only caveat here is a mortgage. If you have a mortgage, you have some time to pay it off. Prioritize all other debts before your mortgage. You should still make all your mortgage payments, but put extra money toward your other debts first. Once you have your other debt paid off and once you have savings for retirement (step eight), then you can focus on paying off your mortgage early (if you want to).

8. Invest for Retirement

When you’re young, it’s hard to think about retirement. Why should you save money for something that’s decades away? Unfortunately, this thinking is why the average American has no retirement savings. If you want to reach financial stability, you also need to plan for the days when you won't have a salary. This is especially true if you have any plans for retirement. Want to travel after you retire? Want to volunteer or take some local classes? Those are all great things, but you can't do them without money.

Prioritize your retirement now and you will thank yourself in the future. Even if you don’t have a lot to save for retirement, start now. Someone who starts early will earn more in the long run thanks to the magic of compound interest.

As you think about saving for retirement, start with your work. Many employers offer a 401(k) or 403(b) plan. Take advantage of those, especially if they offer employer matching. Employer matching is when your employer will match some or all of the contributions you make to your company retirement plan. Not taking advantage of employer matching is like passing up free money.

If your employer doesn’t offer a retirement plan, you can open an individual retirement account (IRA).

9. Make Sure to Have Some Fun

When you focus on saving money or paying off debt, it’s easy to forget about fun. After all, fun like things usually cost money. But don’t get so focused on your money that you forget to live. Enjoying your life will help to keep you happy and healthy.

When you look at how much you can afford to spend each month, try to budget in a certain amount just for fun. Maybe you can get a massage every couple of months or go to a show. Keep on the lookout for cheap and free events too. Go for a hike or invite friends over for a game night. Another great way to have fun is celebrating your financial successes. Did you just pay off one of your credit cards? Try one of these five frugal ways to celebrate your debt successes.

10. Stick With It!

In an ideal world, you would stay within your budget every month. Your car would never need repairs and you would never lose your job. Unfortunately, we don’t live in an ideal world. Unexpected things come up and sometimes you just spend more money than you anticipate. It's OK. It happens to the best of us. Try not to get discouraged when things don't go as planned.

Even when things aren't going well, follow through. Stick with it even if you fall off for weeks, months or years. Don't worry about doing things perfectly. Do your best and try to get just a little better every day.

The Bottom Line

Financial stability is the freedom to live life on your terms without worrying about how you'll pay your next bill. This seems like an unreachable dream for many people but it is very much within your reach. Follow the 10 steps above and you will put yourself on the path to financial security.

One bonus step you could take is to work with a financial advisor. A financial advisor can help you with everything from creating a budget to getting ready for retirement. A matching tool like SmartAsset’s can help you find a person to work with to meet your needs. First you’ll answer a series of questions about your situation and goals. Then the program will narrow down your options from thousands of advisors to up to three financial advisors who suit your needs. You can then read their profiles to learn more about them, interview them on the phone or in person and choose who to work with in the future. This allows you to find a good fit while the program does much of the hard work for you.

Tips for Reaching Financial Security

An emergency fund will provide security when unexpected things come up. Where you keep your emergency fund is a personal decision. Some people keep their emergency fund in their regular savings account. If you decide that you need an emergency fund of $10,000 then you can just make sure there are $10,000 in your savings account that you never touch. It can be tempting to spend that money though. In that case, you could create a separate savings account or open a money market account.

Credit card debt is an everyday struggle for some people. If you have a hard time with overspending, consider using cash. Cash sounds inconvenient in today's world but with cash, you cannot spend more than you have. So if you only want to spend $50 on clothes this week, then carry $50 cash that you can spend on clothes.

Whether your save for retirement through a work plan or an IRA, there are a few things to keep in mind. Investing is the way to build wealth. Investing sounds intimidating, but it doesn't have to be. Choose a portfolio (a mix of stocks, bonds, cash, etc.) that is diverse. That means don't put all of your money into one company's stock or into the stock of five companies that all work in the same industry. The simplest way to diversify is putting your money in an index fund. Index funds, like the S&P 500 index fund, provide instant diversification because they mirror the entire stock market. You can also invest in exchange-traded funds (ETFs). An ETF is similar to an index fund because it is consists of multiple stocks.

Photo credit: ©iStock.com/AleksandarNakic, ©iStock.com/cigdemhizal, ©iStock.com/monkeybusinessimages

[shakingsphere]

um i need a distraction so heres a question thing that yall are supposed to send to me but i just answered all of them if ur interested

Alisons: Sexuality?

straight i think

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

she/her cis

Amaryllis: Birthday?

january 30th!

Anemone: Favorite flower?

idk what they’re called but these vine type flowers on the side of my porch!

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

atla

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

depends on the context, definitely nothing where they could take advantage of me

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

i hate quotes i can never remember any lmao

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

.... diet coke

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

no

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

maybe? he didnt love me back

Baneberries: Favorite song?

vienna by billy joel

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

my parents are nice and supportive but overbearing and judgmental. my dad has a tendency to talk when its not his place and my mom is very jewish. my sister doesnt like me very much and is kind of rude. one of my brothers is really nice and the other is awful

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

I dont

Begonia: Favorite color?

green

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

red panda

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

night

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

a cat

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

an animator 

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

i love kids theyre so cute

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

heights bc theyre scary, and unachieving because i dont want to waste my life

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

i used to play with ants a lot

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?  

like if i was conscious it was my last day? i dont even know

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

single :/

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

central asia and iran

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

when im with my friends and we’re just hanging out

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?  

no ma’am i am a child of god

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?  

my ear lobes and i want to get my doubles done

California Poppy: Height?  

5′3. it be like that

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

yes!!!!!!!!!!!! omg

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?  

a college sweatshirt and pj pants with penguins on them

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

when i was little....

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?  

my friend hannah

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

i haven’t...

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

um lobster?

Columbine: Are you tired?

yeah lol

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

college and moving out of state!!

Coneflower: Dream job?

something where i can use my degree lmao

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

i think im an introvert but i also might just have anxiety

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

maybe?

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

i would take a bullet for most of my loved ones

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

yes. a tie-dyed teddy bear named tie-dye. he is my husband.

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

aquarius

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

nothing that people who arent me should remember, but i think our experiences shape us so

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

im not dead idk

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?  

um id probably be upset i care about my parents approval way to much

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

my friend hannah again lol

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

public speaking!!

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

math

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

um i met my future roommate, i lost a bit of weight, and i got some cute shorts

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

stressful! 

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

no

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

join my college’s honors program and study in russia

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

im not doing this one too tired

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed? 

xanax 

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

i try to tell ppl they are important to me

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

im funny i think

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

i wake up at 9:30 its 70 degrees Fahrenheit and i get lunch with some friends and then we hang out for the day

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  

im so bad about this all i do is watch youtube and study, but i love to draw and im going to start reading more

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?  

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?  

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

pretty sure its french for clear or bright (depending on the context). my mom just liked it

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

im from a suburb of kck. its a nice and safe place to grow up but i wouldnt choose to live here

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

nice, but its in the basement so the view is really bad i hate that

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  

no nope no

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

she is very smart and hardworking but very judgmental and a bit inconsiderate. she loves me very much tho

Onions: Tell about your dad.  

he is short and angry. he tends to interrupt me a lot. he is supportive of everything i do. he is stingy about money tho

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

my mother’s mom died before i was born, and my i was never close with her father. he died when i was 8. my other grandma has bad dementia and isn’t sure who i am anymore. shes presbyterian but she would send my sister and i dreidels and such for hanukkah. im told i look a lot like her. my grandfather has been very grumpy for as long as ive known him.   

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

my 13th. i had an anxiety attack and had to go home early.

Peony: What was your first job?

i was a hostess at a seafood restaurant.

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

i give myself time to process it and then just move forward i guess

Pink: Where is home?

where your sense of belonging is ig idk

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

i would have made better grades and quit band in middle school haha 

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

i want to be happy with 2 kids and a husband and live below my means but still be comfortable 

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

nihil was a philosopher. 

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

fuck idk my dog

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

background noise when your sitting outside

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

for everything to work out!!!  

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

very very hard

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

the internet

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

8 hours but i overslept

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

i have to

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

i dont have a job rn and thats bad

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

my jeans from uo

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.  

cool librarian or 90s mom

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

160,000 dollars :)

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

the cost of college!!!!

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

oof like 2. i read Dune, and Slaughterhouse Five

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

college! finishing up my first semester

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

yeah :( 

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

ive been late to ap french almost every day this semester #c’estlavie